Merry Christmas

Good afternoon, and I hope everyone is caught up on their Christmas prep. Sorry to have been MIA for a while, and since there is a rare quiet moment, I'd like to wish all my blog followers a Very Merry Christmas. For those who have sent Christmas cards, Get Well Cards, and emails of encouragment, I want to say a heartfelt thank you.

For those of my followers who don't know why I have been away from Blogland and will continue to be away for a time, I will try to update you.

The October scan that DH had, showed a 4cm mass in the upper left quadrant of his intestine...Very likely malignant.We found to our distress, a colonoscopy nor an Endoscopy, show that area. (or so we've been told!) He was faithful in getting the tests we were told responsible people should have. He had surgery to remove that mass on Nov 7, and it was discovered he had other places in his intestines, plus the problem has metastized to both lungs. A 4-5 day surgical stay ended up being 14 days, of sheer misery.

A hospital oncologist saw him and was very brutal in delivering the news that if he does nothing, probable life expectancy of a couple months. With chemo, he  might gain a few additional months. But the condition is terminal, and he didn't mince words in saying so. Very difficult to hear this. This was shortly after the Nov 7 surgery. He was released on Nov 21, home for 4 days, began vomiting uncontrollably, so we had to rush him back to the hospital, as he had dehydrated. We think a lot of that was because the intravenous nutrition food he was being provided once home, was the wrong stuff (not what was given in hospital, and I DID question the difference in what I saw. Additionally he was on a clear liquid diet per his surgeon, and we had been told he could have 'shakes' made with whey powder, almond milk, baby food fruit - to build him up for chemo. Also WRONG!). So next time home, he was on the clear TPN (the liquid nutrition) & only clear liquid diet and that has seemed to work better. Additionally, we asked for anti-nausea meds, which (fingers x'd) so far have kept the vomiting away.

It's been a hellish several weeks, as I know nothing about how to take care of someone in this condition, and I'm having to inject vitamins, insulin into this prepared TPN, flush iv lines, connect & disconnect to a pump that feeds this stuff, and empty a belly drain bag too. My brain is in such a state, I didn't retain info, and most of the time, felt as though I'd break into 10 million tiny pieces from sheer nervous upset. I've pretty much learned how to do the TPN, still get scared doing it, afraid I'll do something wrong. But we are trying to take it day by day...and praying constantly

He is scheduled to get a chemo port on 12/27, and try to start chemo on 1-2. DH has a very low threshold for nausea, and I worry that he won't be able to tolerate it. Additionally, we've used up a lot of the 'couple months do nothing' scenario so not sure if the time that may be gained, if the tumors can be shrunk, will be worth the side effects of the chemo.

So for all of you who have sent up prayers on his and our behalf..PLEASE keep them going upward. We've prayed for a miracle...but also pray for courage to face whatever comes. I didn't have the time (nor the motivation) to send out any cards, but have been uplifted by all the lovely cards we've been sent. And the emails so many of you have sent, to say you're thinking of us. It means more than you will ever know, unless you have to face a situation like this. I know so many others have done so, and probably with a lot more grace than we are able to put into the journey.

I hope I can return to Blogland in the future, but right now, my biggest priority is looking after #1 DH. He's very precious to me, and I'm trying my best to do all I can to help him through this journey, keep him comfortable, and let him know just how much he is loved.

Again, thanks to all of you, and I wish each of you a Merry Christmas. Our daughter & SIL arrived this morning for a few days, so at least we can spend Christmas once more as a family.

God Bless.